I have a community of friends. They are people that I met online because of a friend and a television show. I have spent hours and hours and hours with them over the past ten months. Hours spent being supportive of others, and just trying to be kind and helpful. Hours that I could have spent in other ways. In ways that might have been more productive for me personally, but I have learned some very valuable lessons.
I learned that I can care deeply about people that I don’t know overly well. I learned that I can be concerned about someone who I have never met, to the point of checking in with everyone I can think of to see if they are alright. I learned that getting a postcard from a person that you have never met face-to-face is a wonderful heart-warming lovely surprise (even when you know it’s coming). I have learned that I CAN interact with people online, that I am not as introverted in an online space as I thought I was. I learned that I can just be my true self and people might interact with me. I can be quirky and odd, and talk about books or anything else that interests me and there might be someone out there who wants to interact with me back.
I learned so many good lessons from this experience. I learned some pretty hard ones too. But, the lessons that stick with you, are the ones that you learn the hardest way possible, right?
I have never really been a fan of birthdays. My mother used to make a big big deal of them when I was little and I have never been a fan of being the centre of attention.
This year feels different though. Forty is supposed to be middle-aged or something; I feel like I have switched over to the age where you can say you have made it to forty. I know of more and more people that I grew up with that are no longer with us. It feels like more of an accomplishment to make it this far. Two people whom i grew up with died last year (2017). It has given me a new perspective:
You don’t just get handed a life, you have to work for it
My life also feels quite different from last year in a unique way. I have a group of people who I interact with regularly online that I didn’t have a year ago. They have made a wonderful positive impact on my life. This group of friends is because of an odd television show called Wynonna Earp. They have taught me so much about woman supporting woman, not tearing them down:
Friendship must include genuine support and caring without an agenda
I have done a very hard thing this year. I started an elimination diet because I had had enough of doctor’s telling me there was nothing they could do for me. I knew something wasn’t right and the one thing I could control was myself. I still have a very limited diet that I am working on expanding. But all the restrictions and sacrifice have been totally worth it. And for me food is now about nutrition, not solely about pleasure. I have learned that:
Sometimes you know what is best for you, more than the ‘experts’. Trust yourself.
I have also started a business this year. It is something that I have wanted to do for a very very very long time. But, it just didn’t seem possible in many ways. The main reason was I didn’t have the self-confidence to try. Through doing something hard (the diet) and gaining a supportive group of friends I realized:
It is better to try (and possibly fail) than it is to wondered, could I?
All in all last year was a year of personal internal change, I wonder what the coming year will bring?